Community and a Wedding

Sometimes I hate being different and sometimes I enjoy it. The part about being different is that I have been easily taken in by neighbors into their community and lives. It really is a beautiful thing. Often I have more than one request to be at a neighbors house for the evening. Yesterday, my neighbor Mattios visited me at the office. He hadn’t seen me for a few days and was wondering where I had disappeared to. After a 45 minute visit I was able to assure him that I am alright and have simply been busy, working late, visiting with other neighbors, and even suffering a bit from a cold. I assured him that I’d come and visit him that night.

On my way home from work I was greeted by my co-worker Solomon’s wife, Himanot. I was quickly ushered over to her house for coffee, injera, and popcorn. I played with their two sons. Apparently the youngest who is 5 gets very excited when I come over and he talks about it for days afterwards. Apparently that night there was going to be a gift giving ceremony at one of the neighbor’s houses. When someone gets married the celebrations begin far before the wedding day. At this celebration the neighbors were presenting their gift to the groom and his family.

We arrived at the party and sat on short stools and talked with one another. The Gurage tribe was well represented throughout the dancing, singing and drum playing. It was the first time I saw their dancing first hand. The dancing and clapping would get faster and faster as the women competed to see who could do different moves faster. The air was filled with laughter. The dancing subsided as we gathered together for the gift presentation. Three women blessed the groom as the unwrapped the gift and put the gold necklace on him. As the women said their blessings, the crowd simultaneously uttered their blessings for the groom and future wife. Then one of the women took a bowl of butter and rubbed it onto the heads of the groom’s sisters. I have come to understand that butter represents wealth and blessing. Women often put it in their hair as a way of conditioning it. This is the first time I have seen it as a part of a ceremony. It was really beautiful, fun and special to be a part of.

Friday night was another celebration. This time it involved men and women dancing. The courtyard of the wedding house had a big tent set up with benches and stools all around. I arrived at sunset bringing 20 or 30 children with me. They proceeded to dance and dance. The boys dancing for the girls and the girls shyly watching. We waited and waited for the show to begin. Eventually many many men showed up and the party began. we sat in a large circle with the elders to one side. There was one drum and a woman started to beat and sing, with the other women joining here, then the men got up and danced two by two. Almost in a competition like, seeing who could do a particlular dance longer. Then the men would take the drum and the women would start dancing. Everyone was laughing and smiling, singing and clapping. It was so much fun. It went on for hours.
Then the mother had the groom and his two groomsmen sit on a mat infront of the elders. She covered them with a thin cotton cloth then the elders started playing the drum and everyone repeated their chants. After the drum went around to all of the elders, they had the groom and his groomsmen get up and they danced. The groom wore the white cloth as he danced. It was incredible.

Then on Sunday was the wedding. Events started early in the morning and i could hear drums and cars honking. At 6PM I got all dressed up in Ethiopian clothes and went with my neigbors to the wedding. we waited for 2 hours for the wedding party to show up. Then they came, did a little ceremony with the orthodox priest. The wedding party then got their food, then we waited forever to get our food. And we returned home at 10PM! All that was sitting and waiting....